STYLE ADVENTURE ETIQUETTE

Archive for the ‘Art’ Category

A Wilde Imagination

In Adventure, Art on August 26, 2011 at 11:11 am

Greetings darlings,

I am an aesthetic individual by birth, a classicist by nature — famous for my shrewd wit and sartorial flamboyance — why, one might almost confuse me with the great Oscar Wilde himself!

Though many of my unpublished novels have been inspired by, and generally aligned with, Mr. Wilde’s ideology, there is one famous position of his that I must refute.  In his essay “The Decay of Man,” Señor Wilde asserts: “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.”

Well, my fine friends, I beg to differ.  Tee he!  Just couldn’t help myself with that one!  Just awful, I know…I know…but also somehow SO pleasurable at the same time!  Right?  Right!?

Oh, I digress.  Without further ado about nothing, I shall unfold empirical evidence gathered while gardening on the internet, which proves that the chicken did come before the egg!

Please refer to exhibit A, one of my prior blog posts.  If you have read it, please review paying particular attention to the section on the sculpture in front of the New York Palace.  If you have not yet read it, how do you expect us to be friends?

Moving forward:

Exhibit B. Ahem.

Exhibit C. Although the genus depicted is not French, he is a second cousin once removed, named after our uncle, Skittlefoot.

Exhibit D. Jedi evidence.

Exhibt E. Even frat boys know. For the record, I did nothing disgraceful at this house party. How could I have known that Rabbit was married to the hostess! Ooof.

Exhibit F. Utterly stunning ring by Verameat Jewelry found at my little shop, Eponymy.

Exhibit G. I'm no snitch, but I simply can't help point out the similarities here!

Exhibit H. A party thrown in my honor, complete with an ice sculpture by the illustrious Thomas Brown and gorgeous "Bianca" statues in background.

Exhibit I. This piece of evidence is somewhat more confusing for the layperson scientist. I'll say no more on that note about my superstring theories, and let my audience research on their own.

Exhibit J. And Gargoyles are French too! Bonjour!

Exhibit K: "Opus Manatee." Just sayin'.

Exhibit L. Hippoponymous.

Exhibit M. Ugly Doll? What a simply GHASTLY name. I entirely disagree. Single? Contact me.

Exhibit N. The Netherland Dwarf Bunny; story of a Fierce, Bad-ass Rabbit.

Exhibit O. We come in peace.

Exhibit P. The Long Eared Jerboa. Another bizarre biological imitation.

Exhibit Q. The nugget. My influence seeping into the culinary scene.

Exhibit R. Many have drawn comparisons noting the piglet. I must say, an absolutely lovely creature, but sometimes just such a boar. Ooooooo.

Exhibit S. The Japanese have always had a knack for beautiful design.

Exhibit T. Even across the globe, the Koala has followed my grooming techniques closely.

Exhibit U. Big Marshmallow. Another clear example of my translucent skin and voluptuous figure inspiring the gourmand.

Exhibit V. The baby sloth looks very closely related but unlike me these creatures are extraordinarily lazy. Why that 20 hour research nap I took the other day followed an exceptional day of rigorous jazzercise!

Exhibit W. Mini-nugget friends.

Exhibit X. Cousin Fred.

Exhibit Y. My gorgeous postmodernist coat. Why, the Empress has no clothes! Te he!

Exhibit Z. I taught my neighbor to be so fierce, though I couldn't help pointing out the egregious color and pattern on his jumper.

And there you have it my friends.  In art, as in nature, one simply CANNOT deny the brawn of a powerful live muse.  And while I would never… never insinuate that this muse was myself, I encourage you to do so.

With Wilde abandon…eminently yours,

Bianca Miller

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Art Tour Extraordinaire: Part II

In Adventure, Art, Society on June 16, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Our little art tour was starting to feel like a bit of a roller coaster ride.  Up, with the elation of seeing my own image gracefully interpreted in a phenomenal display of the largest proportions — down with the anxiety of the plump, formless, pedestrian bear installation.  Eee gads!  I felt it timely to ride easy and drop into the La Chapelle show at Lever House  for some Pop-Art numbing.  The show went round and round like a merry-go-round,  awakening memories of childhood with its paper link chains.

It was then that I truly scrutinized the existence of the American Dream.

The tour was cut short when Vladimir noticed I was growing weary — after all, I had barely slept 18 hours the night before!  Having such a packed schedule can be positively exhausting!  So until next time…

Artfully yours,

Bianca Miller

P.S.

I was walking on Dean Street in Brooklyn today and came across this absolutely dreamy yard sculpture.  I feel the ambient lighting accentuates my perfect cheekbones.

BARK AT THE MOON

Art Tour Extraordinaire: Part I

In Adventure, Art, Society, Style on June 14, 2011 at 12:41 am

Now, I believe I’ve already mentioned my involvement in numerous social circles in our fine city. However I have yet to touch on my keen interest and pivotal role in the art world.  Indeed I have dear friends at Humble Arts Foundation, where I sit on the board and at  mr. and mrs. amaniolu — the curator of the wonderful collection for sale at my little store Eponymy.

As a patron, trendsetter, dealer and muse, naturally I am constantly being invited to gallery openings and events. What with my other commitments it’s frankly impossible to even attend a fraction of them. Exhaustication! That said, much as I enjoy hobbnobbing with a glass of wine and eavesdropping on conversations regarding false pretensions of metaphysical idealism, I also like to take it to the street and assess the more accessible delicacies of the art world.

Therefore, when I was asked to take a mini tour of some recent public art in Manhattan,  I decided to make time in my positively overloaded schedule to lend a skillful eye to the masses.

Driver! Take me to the venue!

I was picked up on Saturday morning by my driver Vladimir, a rather pleasantly plump fellow (notwithstanding the Russian prison tattoos on his hands and the gun shot wound in the side of his head). Our dear friend Alan Rohwer was in tow with my iced cappuccino, which was a blessing as I was absolutely parched. The scale of Alan’s artistic genius and talent is virtually insurmountable (why he nearly holds a candle to my achievements!) so naturally it was favorable to have him along for the ride.

Our first stop, The Helmsley Palace (these days known as The New York Palace), featured an exhibition in my honor. How spectacular the sculpture, and how kind it was of the guards to escort me down the red carpet to the base of the sculpture where I was photographed for what seemed like an honest to god eternity by those pesky paparazzi. Good lord. But one must oblige sometimes I suppose, especially when homage is shown on such a grand scale.

The sculpture itself, crafted by Julien Marienetti,  showed such attention to scale, such precise acknowledgement of my bone structure, my luxurious curves, the indent in the middle of my frontal lobe, the delicate folds in my face and neck – all diametrically opposed with the angular modern lines of the painted surfaces and vibrant colors. Gracious me! Pure Heavenly Goodness!

Take a look here, for a small style tip.  I decided to don a low-maintenance sporty outfit that day a lá Katherine Hepburn.  It is quite grotesque to look ostentatious at an event in one’s own honor:

Thank you kind city of New York! Thank you!

Once my appearance was made, we were on our way.  Vladimir suggested another location – a spot on Park Avenue boasting Swiss artist Urs Fischer’s 20 ton brass teddy bear.  While I don’t expect the subject matter of every public art work to reflect my grace and delicate facial structure, I have to say the lines did not please me aesthetically at all. Shame!

Botheration!

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