Dearest Fans,

As most of you may have gathered (I do apologize if you showed up at my little shop and I was in absentia) I have been On the Road (no, not spuriously chasing around young Mexican girls like that latent, closeted homosexual Kerouac — so tedious I say!)  lending my good breeding and grace to the regions and countries that exist outside this great city of ours: hobnobbing with celebrities, yucking it up with politicos, nickel and diming with swap-meeters and carnies — and of course, mingling with the commoners.

As a Renaissance woman, I have always tried to keep an open mind.  I believe that formal schooling is just one way to obtain an education; and that in fact, traditional brainwashing is really just one puny, oftentimes insignificant and increasingly industrialized vessel in which to carry on humanity’s quest for knowledge.  One way I like to keep my worldliness fresh, my vision cutting edge, my scene hip — is to get out into that great, big Whurld of ours, for crying out loud!  Why one simply can’t lie around in bed all day, being hand fed delicacies, pampered and massaged constantly.  What a breeding ground for simplicity, vulgarity and banality!  Good heavens no!

*Disclaimer: the following photos were taken without my knowledge or permission and portray me (completely out of context I might add) in order to down play my exceedingly natural tendencies toward altruism, philanthropy and sportsmanship.

I’ll have you know, I was simply taking a power nap after an excruciating flight back from Sardinia!

This photo was taken at a wonderful retreat facility in Malibu, California where I had to go to be treated for exhaustion and dehydration. I am feeling MUCH better now, thank you.

I did get up to do paper work that morning, I was just resting my weary leg (it got caught on my memory foam mattress!) for a few moments.

When one works one’s paws to the bone, one is entitled to a few days of relaxation in the sun for crying out loud!

Yes, everything is just divine dahling, simply divine.

Alright, damn it! I just can’t be bothered to attempt anything other than luxurious over consumption! Good god, don’t tell me I don’t deserve IT for heaven’s sake!!!  I deserve it ALL!  ALL I SAY!

Though some might say “the lady doth protest too much!” methinks I have no other choice — I have been FORCED to furiously defend myself in light of these egregious attempts to shame my athletic prowess and good doings.  So here I offer proof in photographic form:

While the press will say I’d been sent away on “Outward Hound,” a program for juvenile delinquents – I was merely lending an ear and a paw, volunteering to counsel disillusioned youth on a white water rafting trip.

Photos hit the tabloids of me canoodling with a steamy latino, but let it be known that I am an accomplished Latin dancer and we were merely performing a difficult maneuver often called the Horizontal Mambo.

A member of a prestigious baseball league, I pep talked my teammates after a particularly strenuous game.

And there you have it my fans – though I have nothing to prove to you or myself, as a lady of many accomplishments and often jealous opposition, I feel I must sometimes prove it to the Whurld.

Provocatively yours,

Lady Bianca Miller