The Bitch Bench of Bergen Street Style Part III

In Uncategorized on November 3, 2012 at 10:17 am

Hello my dearest darlings!

Welcome back to my little segment, (a favourite of our readers, I’ve learned) The Bitch Bench of Bergen Street Style.  If you haven’t been following my blog as closely as you should (shame!), this is an interview based section where I cull interesting customers, photograph them and interview them.

As you’ve probably ascertained by the erratic appearance of my posts, I’ve always chosen to work within a “quality over quantity,” philosophic timeframe.  Why I simply refuse to pound out insignificant drivel just to have it happen on a daily basis for crying out loud!  It’s like getting out of bed in the morning…why who needs to do that on an everyday basis?  It’s just soooo pedestrian.  And on the rare occasion I must get out of bed for a high-profile modeling job, it’s always good to have a manservant around to serve me meals, fetch things for me (why I certainly don’t fetch!), pack my wardrobe, memory foam day bed and snack of organic, grass-fed, local filet mignon and champers, dahling, champers I say!  And, of course, it’s always mandatory to have my PA on-hand at all times to schedule and coordinate my personal trainer, numerologist and masseur.

But really dahlings, “quality over quantity” should be le mode de vie pour les masses!  It’s just so difficult to get people into this seemingly intuitive mentality.  This is how I choose my wardrobe — it is how I chose my drugs in the late 1990s/ early 2000s (the debaucherous stories you have read of late are complete hogwash I tell you!), and of course it is how I attempt to choose my men.  I’ve tried, but been unrelentingly let down in this former category regardless of what the damned tabloids say!

But enough on all that, let’s hear from one of our dear customers.  A customer, I have a feeling, who would surely agree with my inclination for quality over quantity:

Hat, simple accessories, minimal make-up which heeds way to glowing skin (much like mine), jeans and a pattern in the mix.  Simple and casual, but lovely.  Oh my!

What is your name?  Meg Harrison

And what do you do?  I am a patient services manager for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

What brings you to Bergen Street today?  I live in Prospect Heights and it is so gorgeous out, I wanted to take a walk to my very favorite store: Eponymy.

Thank you for the plug, but you don’t have to flatter us. We like you already, because you bought something! What did you buy?  I bought this really fabulous wool peacock dress [by Ivana Helsinki], it’s awesome!

What is your favorite curse word- if you curse?  I don’t curse all that often. I mean, if I’m very mad… I guess a well-placed “fuck” is important to have in your repertoire.

Right on, that is so fucking important!  Who is your old man crush?  I like Tom Berenger. He’s old, right?

Way older than us, that’s for sure.  I am only six, though I hear I look and feel (to the human touch) like a puppy. Do you feel that you were born in the right era?  No, I think belong to more of the late fifties/early sixties.

Why is that?  I like that style. I like that people seemed to be kinder to each other back then, and there was more face-to-face time and more…

Repression?  There was, yes, which is why I don’t think I’d actually do better then, but in the idealistic sense. I do feel as though I’m a little out-of-place now; I’m not on Facebook, I’m not on Twitter, I don’t use any of that.

Perfect! So I can write anything I want about you on the internet and you’ll never know?   I’ll never know, have at it!

I’m glad to know that.  What is your biggest subway pet peeve?  When people try to get on the train before you get off. I don’t understand this.

Ugh I know, so distasteful! If you had to eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  I’m also a chef and I teach cooking, so the thought of having to pick one food is just…

Wow, we’re getting really serious here.  I’m going to have to say cheese! Can I make that a category? Or does it have to be one kind of cheese?

Well, could you pick a favorite cheese?  I don’t think I can do that.

I wholeheartedly understand.  Lastly, what is your most bizarre New York experience?  Well I’ve had a lot of unexpectedly lovely experiences in New York, where people just do the nicest things. I was just at Red Rooster in Harlem for my birthday, and the whole restaurant got involved in celebrating with me in the most wonderful way. There happened to be a band there on a Monday night and they sang to me, they danced for me, all the patrons sang, it was really quite lovely. I didn’t buy a drink all night! And we didn’t know anyone there but everyone was like my BFF all night!

Simply darling!  Well, New York really is the type of place where either everyone is a total $%*&^ing asshole, or it seems as if everyone got together and decided to look afer one another and do some good to progress humanitarianism — all culminating at the climax of one deafeningly beautiful crescendo.  It really can go either way.  So all of these experiences, surprisingly nice or confoundingly horrible, can all seem equally bizarre I suppose, in this nutty, mixed-up land we call New York City!  I’m glad we talked Meg, and I’m heartened that you chose to highlight a wonderfully-kind bizarre New York experience instead of a seedy, unsettling one.  I figured some stuff out today.  It’s often tough to deal with you guys; but in the end, I do love a human being!


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