My darlingest readers,
It occurred to me, some days later, that my previous and lengthy dissertation on The Holy Mandal Trinity, may have left some of my much appreciated fans feeling a bit overwhelmed — that it was a rather dense and intimidating read. Why of course my darlings! Let not the fault lie within your minds — rather, fault this Whurld we live in. This crazy mixed up Whurld! You know I’ve always blamed the blasted internet and the rise of social media for the decline of literacy, human intimacy and communication. Why even I find it rather difficult to pick up an actual book myself these days. Of course I have Acario, my manservant, do that!
Leastwise, for my readers who have trouble with those pesky wordy things, I’ll just share a quick quote from my former dissertation that should to catch you up to date and lead you seamlessly (tee hee!) into my next sartorial exposition:
“To give my dear readers a brief historical background, The Holy Mandal Trinity dates back to ancient times — the Greco-Persian Wars — when people fought racist battles, believed in religious fairy-tales and #&$@%$#ed their siblings. Kind of like our modern-day Teapartiers! The flip-flop, the Jesus Mandal and the Teva are the three major strains that make up The Holy Mandal Trinity – a trifecta that terrorizes billions upon billions of human beings each summer, all over the globe.”
Now, as I explained in the former section of The Bitch Bench of Bergen Street Style, although part of my duty as a Lady of the Whurld and an arbiter of style is to decry and point out blasphemous wrongdoings in all areas of decorum — it is also important to exalt those who have added a touch of grace to this sometimes wretched earth we walk. In part II of this series I decided to interview the lovely Susan:
Hello Susan, what is your occupation? I am a voice coach and actress.
And what brings you here to Bergen Street? I came to your little shop to find my friend Emily a birthday present. That should reveal to people who know Emily, exactly how much of a procrastinator you really are. I did end up finding Emily a fabulous present!
I am a procrastinator, but I’m working on that. And on being more consistent with writing this blog and a million other things. Oh! So you know Emily! How? Well Emily and I worked on this lovely little film together called Like the Water and now she’s started this lovely organization Seed and Spark that is a platform for independent filmmakers and kind of a genius idea.
That was a really contrived and obvious shameless plug for one of our mutual friends. Yes. Yes it was. But the plug is well deserved.
Obviously. I wouldn’t hobnob around with malcontents and vagrants. Shall we get on with the Bitch Bench of Bergen Street Style interview? Sure. I just want to point out though that you really just did all the plugging yourself and added all of that into the interview like two months later, including this part.
I know, I know. I’m not perfect. I try to make everything look perfect on the outside but inside sometimes I feel like a complete disaster. Damnit Susan! See, now you’re actually just having a conversation with yourself. You should get on with the real part of the interview.
Ok then. Ehem. How does it make you feel when you see a man wearing flip-flops? Um, in the city? Disgust. Only acceptable on the beach.
And what if said man is wearing pants with the flip-flops? Um, then I know what his political affiliation is. Which is not good.
That was kind of right on, Susan! Witty girl. You really should go back and read my entire dissertation on the Holy Mandal Trilogy. I think we might be kindred spirits, here. Does everything happen for a reason? Absolutely, especially today I have no doubt about that whatsoever.
And finally, are you pro or anti pickle? Completely depends on my mood. On a bad day, I do love me a good pickle.
That is so odd, Susan. Unless that was some type of crazy reverse psychology word play, this completely blows mind and might be kind of a life changer for me. I’ve never met a middle of the road, on/off pickle person. People are either pro or anti pickle. You are a complicated woman, Susan. I like that.